My Dilemma: Courthouse Wedding Or Intimate Wedding?

In a previous post, I mentioned that I had gotten engaged to my Fiance on Valentines day of this year and I am super excited to take the next step in our lives and tie the knot.

But, here’s my dilemma.

I’m not sure that I even want to have a wedding anymore! And by that I mean a traditional wedding with avenue, close family and friends, a cake, all of that.

It really hurts me to say that but at the end of it all I feel that the union of my fiance and I is what is most important and that is all that I need.

The reason that I say it hurts me is because of a few reasons.

Anyone who knows me personally knows that I only want to surround myself with positive energy. I do not like drama. I do not like confrontation. And I don’t do well with people putting others down. I just can’t deal with it. I refuse to deal with it.

And I will admit that the people that I would have invited to my wedding a year or two ago….couldn’t even pay me to attend my wedding now.

I am a very observative person, so I am always paying attention to how people carry themselves, treat others, and the energy they bring when they are around me. And it’s sad to say that I had a ton of negative and toxic people in my life and I refuse to invite people like that to my wedding.

I refuse to have one of the best days of my life ruined because of petty drama that people can’t handle like adults.

I will not have anyone at my wedding who is not supportive of me and my partner because we are an interracial couple.

I refuse to have people who show that they are jealous of the life my partner and I have built for ourselves.

The list just goes on and on.

And you know what makes it worse? The fact that all of the people I am referring to are some of my family members.

I will admit that my family is very dysfunctional. Though my immediate family (mom, dad, brothers, sisters, etc.) have had our issues, we are all very close and I couldn’t imagine my life without them. But when it comes to other family members, I just can’t allow myself to let the energy that they bring to be present at my wedding.

Don’t get me wrong I still love my family very much! And I know that they have problems that they are working on and need to fix but at the end of the day I know how they are, especially when they get around each other…All hell would break loose and I am not going to even risk that happening at my wedding. And that’s where the hurt comes from.

I would love them to be there, but I know that many of them will not be genuinely happy for me and wouldn’t put their differences aside for my special day. Many of my family members have made it clear that they don’t agree with me being with a white man but they have also made it clear that they feel that they are entitled to be at my wedding.

Like… Excuse me? Why would I invite someone who isn’t supportive of my future husband and I.

I know there will probably be a few people who will not agree with me saying some of these things about my family members but these are all things I have expressed to them already and I know that a good portion of them read my blog anyway, so it’s nothing they don’t already know.

I will never sugar coat anything for anyone and it is what it is.

Regardless of all of that, and to make a longer story short. I just know that if we were to have a wedding, there will be very few people that I would invite from my side of my family. And it will be a ton of drama from the members who weren’t invited and I just don’t have the time for it.

I honestly would much rather just have a courthouse wedding with our parents, grandparents, and siblings present because those are the people who really love, support, and uplift us. And that alone means the world to us.

Plus we plan to buy a home sometime in the next year, and we would rather save money and put it towards the down payment of our home, than to have a wedding with a bunch of people who aren’t one hundred percent for us!

But deep down inside I wish I could have that wedding that I have been dreaming of since I was a little girl. Maybe one day I will be able to make it a reality and have a wedding renewal. Only time will tell.

We’re not too sure what we will be doing just yet, but we are leaning more towards a courthouse wedding. My fiance of course says that he wants to do whatever will make me happy and that doesn’t help me too much lol.

Do you guys have any suggestions or advice that you could give me? If so leave it in the comments below and I’ll see you in my next one!

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Comments

  1. August 9, 2018 / 12:44 am

    I would suggest that you do something that will make you happy, at the end of the day your happiness and peace counts. So you need to make a choice that will make sense to you and your fiance.

    • Telia Williams
      August 9, 2018 / 1:26 am

      I will definitely be keeping that in mind. Because as long as we are happy is what matters most.

  2. August 11, 2018 / 9:07 pm

    I honestly think that you should do what is going to make you happy because at the end of the day it’s all a question of whether you’d rather remember your wedding day as a happy occasion and the best day of your life with those who you are closest to you and fully supportive of you and your partner or a day with those family members who aren’t in any way supportive. It’s your wedding and it’s down to you who you do/don’t invite so don’t let a few people thinking that they’re entitled to be there because they’re family make you feel like you have to invite them

    • Telia Williams
      August 24, 2018 / 3:38 pm

      That is so true, thank you for your input! It really helps.

  3. August 12, 2018 / 8:15 pm

    Do what will make you happy. At the end of the day this will be your special day. It’s okay to be a bit ‘selfish’ at times so just do whatever makes you and your fiance happy.

    //Sophie xx
    http://www.nouw.com/escsandberg

    • Telia Williams
      August 24, 2018 / 3:40 pm

      Thank you for your input. Our happiness is what’s most important.

  4. August 12, 2018 / 11:44 pm

    Honestly I know what you mean. But it’s like if you want to do something do it don’t hold yourself back. This is special for you make it as special as possible. Invite positive people only. Do not let anybody take away from your excitement. This about you two , no one else. Be happy !! Congrulations btw.

    • Telia Williams
      August 24, 2018 / 3:43 pm

      Thank you and you’re so right! I’m not going to hold myself back anymore!

  5. August 13, 2018 / 10:28 pm

    I feel like yall could do something at the courthouse and once you all get in your future house later down the line you guys and have a renewal of your vows dream ceremony. congratulations on your engagement

    • Telia Williams
      August 24, 2018 / 3:43 pm

      Thank you for your input, and that’s not a bad idea at all.

  6. August 14, 2018 / 11:10 am

    It is a hard decision! So sorry that some of your family members cannot pull themselves together and have to put their agenda into your lovelife! :/ Not cool, not cool at all. :/ I would definitely advise to go with the wedding where you invite only the people you want to see there. 🙂 However I am sure it will be a lovely day no matter what kind of wedding you choose. Best of luck and happiness to you both! 🙂
    Madara | https://lookforsmile.com

    • Telia Williams
      August 24, 2018 / 3:46 pm

      Thank you so much for all of your input.

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