So where do I start?
As some of you may know, for the last two years I have really struggled with weight loss. In my My struggle with weight loss post, I shared how I gained 60 pounds between both of my pregnancies and that I have been really struggling with shedding the extra weight.
Now I won’t go into the whole story, you can check out the post I just linked, and you can learn more about why I was trying to lose weight.
So here’s an update…
Things have not been any better for me. If anything things have gotten a whole lot worse.
When I made that post last year (it will hit a year in July) I was around 190 pounds…
I am now 210 pounds…
I’m not proud of it at all and it really sucks because I’m just making more work for myself.
Wondering what happened?
Well I’ll tell you.
Just a whole lot of bad things happened that I wish I could have avoided.
I don’t want to get too deep into details because this blog post would probably turn into a book and nobody has time for that.
Just to be clear,
I am in a way better place than I was just two months ago. I wouldn’t say I am completely happy, but I wouldn’t say I am depressed either.
I guess you could say I am more disappointed in myself than anything.
Welp, I’m going to be totally honest and completely transparent.
I have never been much of an emotional eater, (I would more eat out of boredom more than anything) but that ended up gradually escalating into me comfort eating.
I can’t really remember when I started comfort eating, but as I was reflecting a couple of days ago, I started to realize that what I was doing was considered comfort eating.
I think it took me so long to realize that I was comfort eating is because I have been going to the gym regularly…at least more often than I ever have before, and I would do short diets, but it was hard for me to stick to dieting and working out when tragic things started to happen.
When things got rough, or if I would have a bad day, I would go to the store buy a pie and vanilla ice cream, and eat the whole pie and half the carton of ice cream in a day.
I know. I know. But that was the only thing during the last six months that would make me feel better.
In a way I want to say that I feel ashamed of my comfort eating and the 20 pound weight gain, but I am not.
No one is perfect, I am only human and I accept the mistakes that I have made. But I know it is better to be truthful with myself and admit that I need help and start changing my habits.
Why am I even sharing this?
Though it is embarrassing for me, I am just a really honest and open person.
I want to share my story and my experiences no matter what, good or bad, in hopes that maybe others seeing me being transparent and honest with myself about my situation will encourage others to do the same.
Everyone doesn’t have to share their problems with the world, but we all need to be truthful with ourselves and do what we need to do to be the best versions of ourselves that we can be.
I’m not going to keep rambling but,
I just wanted to give you all a little update and get this out of my system because it’s been weighing heavy on my heart lately.
Once I publish this post, it will help me get the release I have been needing to move on and start creating healthy habits.
I am committing to bettering my health and I want to document this journey.
I’m choosing me.
Plus I’m tired of looking like a potato lol.
This was my TED Talk, and I’ll see you in my next post.